[Transcript of "official" Hilton campaign speech] “Okay so here’s my energy policy. Barack wants to focus on new technologies to cut foreign oil dependency, and McCain wants offshore drilling. Well why don’t we do a hybrid of both candidates’ ideas? We can do limited offshore drilling, with strict environmental oversight, while creating tax incentives to get Detroit making hybrid and electric cars. That way the offshore drilling carries us until the new technologies kick in which will then create new jobs and energy independence.
Energy crisis solved! I’ll see you at the debates, bitches.”




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No Paris! Not you too! How is it that removing the multi-decades ban on off-shore drilling in the U.S. has now become Paris Hilton’s “compromise” position? Whew.